3 months later…
8:45AM
Evan and Gently sit in a parking garage. He is waiting for Gently to finish up some work. He asks if she still wants to do “this.” Gently asks him if he wants to still do this. He says that since they are here, they might as well…and they slowly walk to their destination. Both of them are clearly hesitant about what they are about to do, but they hold hands and move forward. Operation “Shop For a Therapist” has commenced.
Therapist #1
This looks like your old school therapy session. Typical doctor’s office. White male. Super serious. His first question is how long they have been married. Gently says 2 years. Evan corrects her…2 years AND 3 months. You not gon discount those 3 months, ma’am. Gently is annoyed. The doctor asks them to tell him about themselves. Evan says that he USED to be the CEO of a tech company. Say whet? USED TO BE? Whappened? I need details, chile. Gently says she produces a podcast. I will say that during this exchange, these two did their parts in lifting each other up. Gently said Evan’s tech company was great. Evan makes sure that the doctor knows that Gently’s podcast is the #1 podcast out right now. Word? Go ‘head, Gently (and Luma).
So what’s ya’ll’s goal? Gently pulls out the papers she was working on in the car. Hmmm…so basically…Gently was either too busy or didn’t care enough to complete this paperwork prior to rolling up to the office. Ah, I see. Duly noted. The doctor asks them to turn to one another and try to connect in silence. Evan smiles and says that he loves her dress and she looks great. Gently laughs. He’s happy she came and that they are doing this. Gently is too. But then Evan questions if she really is…because he’s reading her face. When asked what she wants to accomplish, Gently says she wants to know what’s wrong and why Evan feels this is necessary…and what’s wrong with him. Oh Lord. Evan is like…don’t you mean us? Gently was like…nah, I said what I said. And then she said she doesn’t want to be there. So…then…Evan was right to ask if she was sure…right? Anyway, the doc wants to know how they met. Evan says the library. Gently says cheesecake. The winner is Evan. How could she not have remembered the library? I am staring to get concerned about Gently. When they go back to that meeting, the first word that comes to mind is books (for Gently) and Luma (for Evan). And she loves that Evan loves Miss Luma. Evan says he instantly fell in love with her and everything that came with her…which Gently questions. Evan gets defensive and the therapist asks him to try to hear what she’s saying. She thinks there are parts of her that he doesn’t accept. Evan says that he doesn’t believe in blind acceptance, but he does believe that in a relationship they should push each other to be better people. Gently has helped him take risks. Evan has helped her see the value in being steady and stable. Evan says it wasn’t supposed to go like this. Everything he says makes her upset and Gently is offended…because this is the way it always goes. Evan doesn’t take responsibility for the things he does and it’s always her fault. And she’s over it. Evan agrees because she’s always over it…since Day 1. Flashback to that time she left his azz in Carson. And they both say that maybe they should have left it in Carson. But they didn’t…
“She made me want to be free.” Evan
“He’s shown me the value of anchors…that they aren’t always weights…” Gently
10:11AM
They leave and Evan asks if she wants to go to the next appointment. Gently says yes because Miss Luma referred her and she doesn’t want to hear Luma’s mouth. I kinda felt like she was only going because of that. I don’t think Gently is on the therapy train yet. She claims that it’s not the only reason, but Evan is feeling like he’s forcing her to do this. Gently says she’s committed. PeriodT.
Therapist #2
Looks like this therapist’s office is way different from the first. It’s a house. Evan and Gently wait on the porch for their time. Evan questions this woman’s credentials. Is she even a real doctor? He doesn’t see any degrees. And then, the doctor comes out to greet them. It’s Tasha Mack from The Game/Regina Greer from The Steve Harvey Show! LOL. I love some Wendy Raquel Robinson. Yassss! Ok. Back to the show. Dr. LaRose greets them with hugs and lots of melanin energy. Her office is eclectic, and Gently is checking thangs out. Evan spots her degrees, so I’m sure he feels better. She says they are a fabulous looking couple and Gently’s dress is fiyah! LOL. Evan isn’t impressed. They sit. They are tense. Doc tells them to loosen up and let’s get down to business.
Later in the session, Evan is telling Dr. LaRose about how things didn’t work out with his business because he made some miscalculations, however, they are still good financially. I still need to know about this business situation. What happened after Evan made that deal with the data shark? How did things go all the way left? Now it’s Gently’s turn and the subject is money. You good with sharing one big pot of money? Gently says it’s cool to have it and live at the beach and have nice things, but it costs. Doc says mmmmm hmmmm, because money ain’t free. Say that, Doc! Basically, Gently never had much, but she had enough. She moved in with Evan and in order to earn her keep, she helped out, did what she needed to do…as her way of contributing. And then he threw it all in her face…flashback to the podcast announcement that went wrong.
Ahhh…the podcast. Gently had finally found her thing and Evan couldn’t be happy for her. And then LaRose takes over the whole session with her raving about how lit the podcast is. I mean…I am happy that Gently’s podcast is fiyah too, but doc needs to maintain a lil bit more decorum. She started fangirlin. Y’all know Evan was burning up inside. Anyway, Gently is very proud of it, which she should be, but Evan still isn’t exhibiting the kind of excitement I’d like to see for his wife. Houston, we have a problem.
2:36PM
The unhappy couple is still with Tasha Mack. Evan is having his say. Gently knew that he had a lot going on with the investor and he couldn’t drop everything in that moment. Gently says there’s a double standard. And it seems like Evan isn’t really taking the podcast seriously. When Gently is on her phone, she’s working or doing research for the podcast. Evan doesn’t see it as work and only sees that she’s not paying attention to him. Gently feels unsupported in what’s she’s doing, even though she always supports Evan in his pursuits. Evan totally disagrees with Gently’s assessment. He does support her and he thinks back to all the times he’s had her back – including standing up for her to his mother. Doc tells them to not forget the good. Close your eyes and breathe out all the bad stuff. Breathe in all the good. Breathe in all the things you love about each other. And all of these flashbacks of their journey got me all in my feelings. *Le Sigh*
So then LaRose asks how they are relating physically and Evan was like…yeah…it’s good…WHEN it happens. Uh Oh. Y’all know Evan and Gently used to stay gettin it in. Doc reminds them that they have had a lot of good moments. Gently says that trust is their issue, Evan says it’s not. And now another issue that Gently has been holding on to – she disagrees with the way Evan handled a situation with his business partner, Jaydo. He was a friend and Evan threw their friendship away. So apparently, Jaydo leaked some secrets to the public, so he had to go. Gently thought it was because Jaydo disagreed with the direction of the company. But why did Evan not share this information before? Gently still thinks that Jay was a friend and it shouldn’t have ended like that. Ummm…I kinda disagree, but…whatever. Evan says that how Gently is feeling about him makes him feel judged and unsupported. Gently tells him to join the club. And then she tries to backtrack. But it’s how she’s feeling.
“Your reactions, your perceptions and your processing of these things, they all determine the rise and the fall, darlings. And we’ve got to rise. We gotta rise.” Dr. LaRose
Therapist #3
5:15PM
It’s been a long day, y’all. And they are still at it. Our final destination is at this spot that really exists call Peace Awareness Labyrinth and Gardens. It was beautiful. I high key want to go myself. Evan, Gently and the therapist are sitting on pillows in a very peaceful place. They both seem more relaxed and open. And they are smiling and playful. Finally! They reminisce about Evan meeting her parent, Ben, and Uncle Bone for the first time. Gently says Ben always knew Evan was the one for her. Evan didn’t know that. It was Ben who told her to go back and get Evan after she ran from his proposal and to stop running. That’s her thing – she runs. Her whole tribe loves Evan. But what does Evan’s family think about Gently? Well..some of them like her. Pops and Esther are cool. Gently says that Esther is her heart. Awwwww. I thought it was interesting that they didn’t throw Ellene’s names there. I thought Ellene was cool with Gently. Anyway, we get some clarification Evan’s relationship with his mom. Evan had a very tight relationship with his mom. She has clear views and is a classy person. But, her code is flawed, so there’s a rift. Her view is based on surface things. Being with Gently made things transparent for him. I wonder if Evan was out there searching for the opposite of his mom? I do wonder if the pull towards Gently was because of that and because making his mom upset and bothered was one of his goals.
5:35PM
The therapist has Gently and Evan forehead to forehead and they have to hold a pose. Gently is complaining. This is weird. She hates this. She doesn’t get it. The goal is to get out of their heads and lean into the experience. Evan asks if Gently is ok. She’s says she’s not. Evan encourages her to hang in there, but the she quits. Why? She’s uncomfortable. And so she was done.
Next exercise. A word game. Say the first thing that comes to mind.
Money – Evan: Necessary. Gently: Burden.
Future – Evan: Help. Gently: Scared
Marriage is hard, y’all. It isn’t just smiles and fun and “she’s my beautiful Queen” and “he’s my amazing King posts on Instagram.” Sometimes you gotta dig in. Go deeper.” Therapist #3
They both agree that they love each other, but the next issue is time. Gently has been getting ready for a big show, so she’s been busy. And Evan feels alone. They used to hang out. But most importantly, he would come home from work and she would be there. So…it was cool when Gently was home waiting and dealing with his busy schedule. Why should it be different when the roles are reversed? Gently was like…this is crazy…if I wanna be out, I’m gonna be out. Evan doesn’t think that’s the way a married woman should think. She is not beholden to him. Evan was like, nah, we are beholden to each other. That’s the way it goes.
So what do y’all want? Evan wants things to be the way they used to be. He wants Gently to put him ahead of her job. Gently wants Evan to want this (her podcast/passion) for her. She has evolved and changed. Evan says they are growing apart. Gently says she changed for him and she found the one thing she loves and she’s not going to give it up…for him.
Last exercise. Face each other. Hold hands. Hold the connection as long as you can. Gently starts to cry. Evan looks like he understands. But then, they let go.
Listen. This episode had me all over the place. Nobody is wrong. Everybody is wrong. I replayed their relationship in my head the same way that they have. I wonder why people who are so opposite could even come together like that and it seem like it’s right. Were they just so in love (lust) that they couldn’t see past that? Did they ever take the time to truly get to know each other and talk about what the future looks like in their minds? I mean, we know that they had never even discussed marriage before Evan proposed. Maybe that would have helped. Were their parents right? Were they too in love to hear it?
I think the blame goes both ways here.
Gently was a free-sprit world traveler, and yet, she got married and made a decision to lay back and be Evan’s housewife – because she felt like she owed that to him – because of money. Why didn’t Gently insists on a trip every now and again? Why didn’t she do something with her days, instead of just waiting for Evan to get home? I know it’s easy to lose yourself, but I never expected Gently to be guilty of this. And, communication isn’t her thing. But communication is necessary. So…I see why we are here.
Evan is a traditional man, who grew up in a traditional environment and what he wants for himself is very traditional. He wants a wife, a career, stability and a family. It’s real simple. But…Evan kinda didn’t marry a woman with the same outlook. Evan is also guilty of blowing off Gently’s dream (although I get that the timing was all wrong) and not giving her the same grace that was extended to him when he was trying to get his company off the ground. And now that the tables have turned and the roles are reversed, he cannot handle it. And he may be too rigid to adjust – even if he wants to.
A part of me really believes that Evan wants this marriage more than Gently. A marriage seems to be way to burdensome for her. I also don’t think Gently is willing to give as much as Evan is willing to give in order to fix it – because Gently is a runner. When things get tough, she runs.
And still…I want to believe that these two CAN overcome. I believe that they really do love each other. This is so complicated. I hate that I am so invested in this fictional couple and I hate that I let Ava rope me in again, but here we are.
The only bright spot in this whole episode was that the podcast about Miss Luma is a hit. She deserves it.
I don’t know y’all. I am trying to have faith and hope that love will prevail. But I am scared. One more episode and we find out their fate. I ain’t ready.
Until next week…
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